Politically correct or a delusion?
I never thought that watching TV to kill time would ever give me a 'food for thought'. The idea itself seemed useless to my brain. But the fact is that it did give me something to think about. A fact that has camouflaged itself in our lives very skillfully!
One day, while flipping through the channels, I stumbled across a beautifully directed advertisement of a Titan watch. The poor ex-boyfriend was left speechless when the independent vivacious ex-girlfriend told him “Tum bilkul waise hi ho, zara bhi nahi badle” on being questioned, “How can a man not work”. That was a quintessential advertisement screaming of women equality... that women are no less than any man in any avenue of life. The ad made me smile a bit thinking, though for a split second, of the things I have achieved and the fact that I can feed myself with, not all but enough, luxuries of life. I had just finished my ‘few centimeters broad’ smile when the food for thought- part two made its way on my 'not so' idiot box.
“Bollywood bite of today... Bipasha Basu ditched her heels for Karan Grover for her new movie, Alone”, the cheerful host of a random Bollywood dope show beamed on the 32 inches LED. And that got me thinking... we talk so boldly about women equality, we fight for it, try to be politically correct about it, but are we really ready to embrace the delusion?
No doubt women have been trying to step into the role of ‘the Alfa’ in different facets of life, or at least, to be at par with the males in the society. But the idea of females not being as capable as men has seeped too deep into the DNAs of the people, and the society.
3 out of 5 opportunities that a woman gets to really take a call and enforce a decision; she gladly lets her man handle it, as if it is his birth-right or some kind of job role assigned. Women can bargain with the vegetable vendors, convince the maid to at least do half the work before she takes off, but when it comes to catching an auto-rickshaw in a new city, they still wait for the all-powerful husbands to get the luggage and speak to the auto wala even if they know the address.
Why does it look weird when the female in a couple is taller than the male? Why, out of an accepted ancestral trend, a woman can’t wear heels if it makes her look taller than her partner? Can’t we just accept it as something which is normal and natural? Our height is as natural to us as a heart, 2 kidneys and 2 lungs in our body. Even when people are trying to find an eligible bachelorette for their beloved and well-educated son, they look for a girl who can be equally educated but still a tad shorter than the boy. “The boy is 5’7, so the girl should be no more than 5’5”, people suggest gladly! If we always look for a match of a boy and girl who is a tad lower in whatever quality it may be, do we really believe in gender equality or it is just a mask that we all wear?
This was an account of what happens in society. But believe me or not, women are as equally a culprit as men. In his theories related to forming habits, Charles Duhigg said that ‘habits are formed when we do certain things repeatedly as a routine’. The act of considering herself below the capabilities of the respective male has become a habit for most women. While I was standing at the reception gate of Asian Paints plant at Rohtak, to submit my mobiles and get tags for all electronic items I was carrying, I noticed a girl who was standing next to me. There was nothing which was very peculiar about her but one thing... her mother. The mother, short curly hair, pleasantly plum, wore a loosely fit Kurta that hung just above her blue jeans. The daughter was there for an interview and on being asked who else needs to go in, she asked her mum,
I never thought that watching TV to kill time would ever give me a 'food for thought'. The idea itself seemed useless to my brain. But the fact is that it did give me something to think about. A fact that has camouflaged itself in our lives very skillfully!
One day, while flipping through the channels, I stumbled across a beautifully directed advertisement of a Titan watch. The poor ex-boyfriend was left speechless when the independent vivacious ex-girlfriend told him “Tum bilkul waise hi ho, zara bhi nahi badle” on being questioned, “How can a man not work”. That was a quintessential advertisement screaming of women equality... that women are no less than any man in any avenue of life. The ad made me smile a bit thinking, though for a split second, of the things I have achieved and the fact that I can feed myself with, not all but enough, luxuries of life. I had just finished my ‘few centimeters broad’ smile when the food for thought- part two made its way on my 'not so' idiot box.
“Bollywood bite of today... Bipasha Basu ditched her heels for Karan Grover for her new movie, Alone”, the cheerful host of a random Bollywood dope show beamed on the 32 inches LED. And that got me thinking... we talk so boldly about women equality, we fight for it, try to be politically correct about it, but are we really ready to embrace the delusion?
No doubt women have been trying to step into the role of ‘the Alfa’ in different facets of life, or at least, to be at par with the males in the society. But the idea of females not being as capable as men has seeped too deep into the DNAs of the people, and the society.
3 out of 5 opportunities that a woman gets to really take a call and enforce a decision; she gladly lets her man handle it, as if it is his birth-right or some kind of job role assigned. Women can bargain with the vegetable vendors, convince the maid to at least do half the work before she takes off, but when it comes to catching an auto-rickshaw in a new city, they still wait for the all-powerful husbands to get the luggage and speak to the auto wala even if they know the address.
Why does it look weird when the female in a couple is taller than the male? Why, out of an accepted ancestral trend, a woman can’t wear heels if it makes her look taller than her partner? Can’t we just accept it as something which is normal and natural? Our height is as natural to us as a heart, 2 kidneys and 2 lungs in our body. Even when people are trying to find an eligible bachelorette for their beloved and well-educated son, they look for a girl who can be equally educated but still a tad shorter than the boy. “The boy is 5’7, so the girl should be no more than 5’5”, people suggest gladly! If we always look for a match of a boy and girl who is a tad lower in whatever quality it may be, do we really believe in gender equality or it is just a mask that we all wear?
This was an account of what happens in society. But believe me or not, women are as equally a culprit as men. In his theories related to forming habits, Charles Duhigg said that ‘habits are formed when we do certain things repeatedly as a routine’. The act of considering herself below the capabilities of the respective male has become a habit for most women. While I was standing at the reception gate of Asian Paints plant at Rohtak, to submit my mobiles and get tags for all electronic items I was carrying, I noticed a girl who was standing next to me. There was nothing which was very peculiar about her but one thing... her mother. The mother, short curly hair, pleasantly plum, wore a loosely fit Kurta that hung just above her blue jeans. The daughter was there for an interview and on being asked who else needs to go in, she asked her mum,
2
Politically correct or a delusion?
“Mumma Chaloge?” I could see in her eyes that she wanted to. She wanted to
accompany her daughter and be her support, probably sit outside the interview room
praying. She agreed with all the heart. “Phone jama karana padega pehele”, the
daughter told her asking for her phone. She could have gone straight in, but what made
her my muse was what she did. She called her husband to ask if she can go in. The
husband kind of conveyed her that it was better to stay outside and wait in the car
than submitting the phones and going in. With an undecided but convinced heart, she
agreed to what he said. When she was just about to give in, to my relief, there was a
breakthrough. It looked like god had been listening to the streaks of thoughts,
questions, suggestions and what not seeping out of my mind, colored with anger,
dislike and sympathy. All of a sudden she decided against it and went in.
Though this story ends at a re-assuring note, but it also shows a tacit and strong point that women themselves step back when it comes to taking easy decisions. And it is not because they are not capable; it’s simply a habit that has made its home in the hearts and minds of the Indian women.
What does this make us? Are we the hypocrites ourselves? We like and admire the voices of Deepika Padukone and the like, saying “What I do is my choice”, but we step back when it comes to helping a stranger on the road. After all, can’t we kick as hard as a man does?
It’s not bad to talk about the change that you want in the society and the people, but when you don’t invest in what you preach, this is where the change falls flat. If women see this change happening, the change needs to start from within; from small things like not being dependent on a second opinion/suggestion unless you seek knowledge or new information. Believe me or not, the men have very little to do with the status of women, until the change starts to manifest in the smallest of things which are mostly ignorant but makes a very large impact on the big picture.
So this goes to all my girlies, colleagues, ladies, mothers and aunts! It’s not about men anymore, it’s about us. The change that we want to see, we are the ones who need to truly invest in it. We are the ones who need to be true to our souls. So buckle down, because what a man can do, you can also do!
Though this story ends at a re-assuring note, but it also shows a tacit and strong point that women themselves step back when it comes to taking easy decisions. And it is not because they are not capable; it’s simply a habit that has made its home in the hearts and minds of the Indian women.
What does this make us? Are we the hypocrites ourselves? We like and admire the voices of Deepika Padukone and the like, saying “What I do is my choice”, but we step back when it comes to helping a stranger on the road. After all, can’t we kick as hard as a man does?
It’s not bad to talk about the change that you want in the society and the people, but when you don’t invest in what you preach, this is where the change falls flat. If women see this change happening, the change needs to start from within; from small things like not being dependent on a second opinion/suggestion unless you seek knowledge or new information. Believe me or not, the men have very little to do with the status of women, until the change starts to manifest in the smallest of things which are mostly ignorant but makes a very large impact on the big picture.
So this goes to all my girlies, colleagues, ladies, mothers and aunts! It’s not about men anymore, it’s about us. The change that we want to see, we are the ones who need to truly invest in it. We are the ones who need to be true to our souls. So buckle down, because what a man can do, you can also do!
| Pratishtha
