Complicated Heart

I saw dreams,

Lovely, incredible, filled with gleam,

Walking in a lane, flowers in my path,

It’s hard to fathom this complicated heart,

God knew my queries, my question that I asked,

The more I frowned… the more he laughed.

A piece of text, a group of words, a simple phrase,

My heart feeling abandoned, looking for a place,

Reading & re-reading one simple name,

My eyes never tire, never ended the game…

Held tight, all the strength & smile on your door,

Later you discover, what you had was just the floor.

And you find out it wasn’t yours that you wore,

And wonder if it’s ever gonna be yours?

I loved living in dreams,

Truth banged my head…

I somehow befriended the truth,

Dreams felt sad, alone, but never said.

There was a reason why I saved myself those memories,

Everyone laughed…

Everyone told me what they feel,

What I want… nobody asked.

I had a choice to make… I had 2 ways to go,

Thought one of them, I was definitely sure.

I kept standing they chose it for me on their own,

What I longed for, no one ever known.

Walking down an empty street with an endless gaze,

“You’ve something in your mind…” they say.

My heart has inside it, millions of verbs & nouns,

I don’t know if m’ standing still or going down…

Large waves hitting noisily on the rocks in my heart,

My thoughts are frayed… they were not in the start…

Rain drops kept dangling over me above,

But they never knew about the things I love.

All I wanted was to feel the new sun on my face,

Wanted to walk this life as a smooth maze…

And in my answer they gave me this complicated heart that never behaved…

Yes I was walking in a lane with flowers in my path,

But it’s still hard to fathom this complicated heart.

                                                                                 - Pratishtha

Well it’s hard to fathom (understand) what I wrote here… so... never mind ;)