The Empty Day...

It was a regular day... like every day I went to work, came back and had nothing to do. I tried to pass my time, listened to some songs to ease my soul, thought I would go and watch something online but it could not answer the questions that my core was trying to explore. The day felt empty. I felt as if I had nothing in my hand, no one to talk to, nothing to do (of course except sleep, but my untamed mind was not enthused enough by the idea), nothing beside a few vague questions that were alien even to me.

So after spending hours wasting in front of the laptop, I stood up only to surrender myself to the noisy street that I live on. But to my surprise, it left me feeling emptier than I was already feeling. Today, our noisy lane was quiet. A lane, which never allowed us to sleep without horns honking after every 10 minutes, dogs barking and some wanderers talking, was empty. I found myself the only one standing at the window at 1 AM at night, staring endlessly at the wet and shiny road that had no one to give her company.

I stood there for some time trying to clear the fog that has emerged in my mind and engulfed the questions that were troubling me. But the emptiness that I could feel in me felt a lot like that of the road, as I could see her lying there alone. And while I was starting to find a little solace in the existence of that wet and empty road, I heard a sound. The sound was like of a motor and increasing with every passing second. And with that, came a companion to that road. It was a man, mid aged, riding his bike, probably going home or somewhere else.  He didn't seem like he was aware of the emptiness the road was feeling before, but he was carefree because of its existence.

But the road was not empty now. I could see it glinting as the Tyre of the bike passed over it leaving a trail of hope that soon that trail would be erased or overrun by a series of vehicles that would give her some company throughout the night. Even the dogs were back to sit beside her and continue their mission of chasing each and every car that passed.

Slowly I could see a series of vehicles passing by in front of me and the road’s purposelessness subsiding. But there I was, still without a purpose or even an understanding of the tornadoes inside my mind.

All my favorite stuff felt meaningless. I did not want to cook, read or even watch my favorite series that I would have gladly done if at all this silence within me was not as loud. I glanced at the windows of buildings across the road and could see tube lights flickering in two or three rooms in a huge residential building in front of me. Even those people had something important to do, which was keeping them awake till 2 in the midnight. Let alone the people, the lights also knew ‘flickering’ is what they had to do.

But how does it explain why I am not one of those who were not as empty as a white sheet of paper. I looked at the road again, and it shined... brighter than ever. It felt as if it was smiling at me well aware of my presence in that window. I felt her talking to me... “What are you looking at?” it asked. “The emptiness around me”, I replied meekly. “Why do you think it’s empty around you?” it asked, smiling in a motherly manner. All I could do was to shrug confused. “Are you confused? What do you think will pull you out of this emptiness? A companion... or a task? And what do you expect people to do about it? Is it (emptiness) because there is nobody to step in or is it you who have closed the doors yourself? What are you searching for? Have you lost anything? Do you really need to try this hard? These questions seemed more like my inner voices than what the road had to ask.

The emptiness that day did not give me any answers, but a lot of questions to ask why. And I knew, if I would go deeper, I would know. But the thing that I got to know, sitting at my windowsill staring at the shiny road was that there will be times when you are lost. There will be times when nothing in your life would work as you wish, not even the zip of your jacket. There will be times when you yourself would lock the doors towards you, so that nobody can step in. And it will be hard to differentiate. But some of these would be the times when you have to let go, when you need to stop searching. And even if it doesn't seem like one, the best way to get through that empty night would be to sleep through it, and when the morning comes, everything would make sense.

It was only after the sun rose the next day and I realized, while I was thinking everyone had something to do that night but me, I was wrong. That empty night, though the silence was screeching, gave way to all those voices within me to come out, so that they can make sense when I wake up. And that was my task... to listen to those voices within, that most of the times all of us ignore. So don’t worry if you find yourself surrounded by a weird emptiness, all you have to do is believe, that this is for something good. Your mind and soul can never be empty, the difference lies in how you search and see things around you, and within you.